


Half Step (and a Tumblr)

by dizzy



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-03-08
Updated: 2004-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-04 15:49:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3073490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/pseuds/dizzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"How do you convince someone that you're serious about something that's been a running joke for the past four years?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

How do you convince someone that you're serious about something that's been a running joke for the past four years? That's what Dom can't wrap his mind around. There isn't an easy way; he's spent long months thinking about it and that's the only conclusion that he's come to. There isn't an easy way to do it.

"Hi, Billy, you know all that shite about us being gay? And, you know, a couple? So how do you _really_ feel about that?"

No, that probably wouldn't work. Scratch that - it definitely wouldn't work. Billy would give him a startled look, perhaps, and then laugh. He would assume it was a joke. If Dom says it, it's a joke. Always a joke.

He's thought quite often about not saying anything at all. Going an alternate route - the 'put your money where your mouth is' route. Mouth. Heh. Literally. What would Billy do, if Dom were to just shove him up against a wall and be done with it? Snog him good and hard, just once, and then back away. Let it sink it, let Billy react however he will. At least it will over then. Something will have been done about it. No more of this melodramatic, angsty mooning over it. No more nights spent staring at the ceiling. No more stares from across the room.

But what if it upset Billy? What if Billy wasn't the type of bloke that you could just push up against a wall and snog? What if he clocked Dom one (good old-fashioned shiner), or even worse, what if Billy didn't say anything? What if Billy just turned and walked away? No, no, better to give him some warning first.

Four years. Of course, he hasn't spent the entire four years pining away for Billy. He's had flings. More one night stands than he could ever possibly remember. A few that he thought might go somewhere (never did). He told everyone that wasn't ready for a serious relationship yet. Not that this point in his life. Not unless it happened to be with one Billy Boyd, who was, for all intents and purposes, already taken.

Yes, that was a bit of a problem too. While Dom might be enjoying life free of any reigns, save those he imposed on himself, Billy was a bit more tied down. Tied down to his land, his beloved Scotland, and his Ali. Spunky little Scottish thing, all cheeks and legs and sparkle. Dom didn't dislike her for any reason other than that good old standing excuse of she being one of the things that kept Billy from Dom.

He had waited four years. Logic dictated that he could wait a bit more. But Dom wasn't much on the logical way of thinking, not when it came to things like Billy and emotions and suddenly needing to know his place in life. Rings was over, and yes, the aftermath would ring on for decades, probably, but the main bond between he and Billy had been laid to rest. No longer could they depend on functions and premieres and interviews to bring them together. It was all them. The true test of friendship. Of love. And Dom wasn't quite prepared to let Billy slip out of his reach just yet.

And from this line of thinking stemmed Dom's idea that now was the time to tell Billy.

  
"Dom." The thud of a bag hitting the ground (a bag? what's in the bag?) and the swoosh of fabric brushing fabric (love that jacket on you, bills) and Billy lunges and Dom catches and they both embrace like their life depends on it. "DomDomDomDomDommie."

"Billy!" Dom laughs, something inside of him releasing at the sound of Billy's voice, open and sincere , and he thinks that maybe, maybe this won't be so hard after all. Billy is so happy to see him, and it's only been a month, and he's so, so happy to see Billy, to feel him and smell him and it's all just a little too much. He's lived for a month with the knowledge that the next time he saw Billy would be _it_ , go-time, do it or die time, ground zero. An ending or a beginning. (the ending of Dom, the beginning of Them).

"So glad you came, Dom, so glad you called!"

Dom is in Manchester, had to meet him halfway, couldn't very well ask Billy to pick up and fly halfway 'round the bloody world just because Dom wanted a conversation that didn't involve plastic-and-metal go betweens. Besides, he need a visit with the family, his mum had been nagging and his old mates thought he'd damned well forgotten them. Which maybe wasn't all that far from the truth, but it wouldn't do to let them know, now would it?

"How could I stay away, Bills? And what's in the bag? Is it a pressie? Is it for me?" Dom bounces foot to foot and grins at Billy, who grins back at Dom, who grins even wider, even brighter, in return.

"Maybe it is and maybe it isn't." Billy says, laughing.

"Billy-" Dom says, drawing out the last syllable, reaching out to tug on the ends of Billy's jacket. He wants to kiss him, suddenly, not as a confession or an experiment, but simple because he is Billy and Dom has been so bloody nervous and Billy, Billy is here, and it feels so nice.

"Take me in your flat, Dom, show me around, get me something to drink and make me feel welcome. Then we'll talk about any possible pressies that might be hiding around." Billy reaches out and cuffs Dom on the chin. "Then, maybe."

  
Four hours later, and Dom is toying with the ends of his new scarf with one hand and holding a shotglass in his other. "Billy." He says, softly. Billy looked up at him, expectantly. The same look he's had on his face for the past half hour. Like he knows something is coming. Like he half-suspects what, but isn't all that inclined to say. "How are things, Bill? With Ali?"

Billy tilts his head. "The same."

Nope, not inclined in the least.

"Ah. That's, um, good."

"Dom," Gently, a nudge. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I needed to know, Billy."

Dom finishes off his glass, sets it on the table.

"I miss you." Billy says, his voice impossibly low. "Miss you."

Dom is surprised, has to wait a second, replay it in his mind. Try and convince himself he hasn't misheard. "Miss you too, Bills."  
Billy doesn't say anything. Dom recognizes the moment as being exactly what it is; the perfect time. All of the thinking and planning that he's done; all of the words and phrases he's conjoured up in his head (soulmates and forever and poetry that flows like honey on his tongue) all flutter away, replaced by...

By...

"Love you, Bills." A murmur, nothing more, just a brief little murmur that he isn't even completely sure Billy caught on to.

But then there's a sigh, with heavy seconds between- "Love you too."

"No. Uhm. Love you."

Dom's got his eyes closed, his hand gripping at the scarf now, his new scarf, the one Billy gave him that's blue-gray-green ('Like your eyes, Dom, and New Zealand') and impossibly soft to the touch. His eyes closed, clenched, every fibre of his being tensed and waiting. And then Billy touches his hand, the hand that's wrapped around the scarf, pries fingers loose and takes them in his own. "Dominic. Look at me."

(serious now, three syllables, that means business)

So he opens his eyes and he looks and he sees Billy, looking at him like he might break, and it never occured to him before that it would make him feel this weak, this brittle, like thin glass or an eggshell. If Billy says no, if Billy says go, then he'll shatter and break and splatter and be an icky mess of Dom all over the place.

"Love you too, Dom." And Billy leans forward and pulls at the scarf, pulling it away, off of Dom, and leans forward even more and brushes his lips against Dom's cheek. "Love you. Always. So don't worry."

Something cracks and Dom wonders if Billy will be angry if he does break now, or disappointed, or put-out. He won't cry (much too girly, he's much too much of a man) but he may sob, he may shudder and tremble if something doesn't happen soon, and not this, this non-action that's taking place. "Billy, I need-"

"I know what you need, Dom. I need it too. But not tonight."

Dom stops, pauses, everything in his momentarily at a standstill. "Not tonight?" His voice is small, meek.

"Not tonight." Billy stands, dropping the scarf onto Dom's lap. "Dom-" He starts. "Just. Not tonight."

He's going to walk away, walk out now, and Dom can't- just can't-

But Billy turns around as if he realizes that he needs to say something more, something else, so it doesn't end like this. "It isn't a no, Dom. It's just a... wait."

  
Two days later, Dom goes back to the States, thoroughly confused and thoroughly depressed. Billy said it wasn't a no, but it wasn't a yes, either, and the only thing Dom didn't prepare himself for was this type of in-between.

He doesn't know what to tell himself. He doesn't know anything anymore.

When he gets back to his house in Cali, there are three messages on his answering machine.

Elijah, asking if he's back in. His mum, asking if he made it all right on the flight across. And-

"Dom? This is Billy. Why... you left. You shouldn't have- Dom, I didn't mean to upset you, I don't know if you are upset, but I didn't mean to- You're bloody impatient, you know that? Too bloody impatient. Fucking spoiled, that's what you are. I broke up with Ali- fuck all, Dom, don't you know I've been waiting four years for you to- ah, shite, it doesn't matter, just- give me a ring when you get in? I'll fly over, if you want. Dom..." There's a pause, a long whirring silence on the machine, and Dom wonders if Billy hung up or was finished and forgot to hand up, and then- "Love you, Dommie." And then there's the click, and it's a good thing that the couch is right by the phone, because Dom sits abruptly, his head still cloudy and his heart still not quite ready to accept what Billy says.

But.

Billy loves him. And that's really all that he needs to know.


	2. Chapter 2

"Billy? I got your message... um... don't really know what to say, mate. I guess we need to talk? Call me." 

Dom pushes the end button on his cell phone and lets his head thunk against the wall. Repeatedly. It's been a full twenty four hours since he got Billy's message - his first reaction had been to throw himself on his bed and pass out. 

Jet lag. Got him every time. Not even the worry/stress of the Billy situation was enough to forestall the demands of his tired body. 

But he is rested now, rested but not relieved, and his problems seem more confusing than ever. Pressed against the wall, his bare skin warming the plaster, he replays Billy's message in his mind for the hundredth time. 

Billy. Broke up with Ali.   
Billy. Wanted to come to the States.   
Billy. Thought he was an impatient fucker. 

He grins. So the last one wasn't exactly breaking news. But the first? Yeah, that qualifies. Something in his stomach clenches and unclenches. Rubbing his forehead, he head for the kitchen, debating whether or not to call Elijah. They're buddies, he and Lij, great friends, close mates, but some things just can't be explained, some people just can't comprehend. 

No, but if this whole thing were about anyone else, he would call Billy. Billy would understand. Billy always understands. He and Billy, they're two a kind - they can read each other. 

Or at least... Dom thought they did. 

He remembers Billy's words. Been waiting. Billy's been waiting for him. 

He slumps against the refrigerator this time, his mind twisting and turning through the sentences like they're a maths problem that he just isn't prepared for yet. 

And then there's a knock on the door. 

 

"My turn." Billy says, dropping his overnight bag on the floor and brushing past Dom. 

"Your turn?" Dom shuts the door, reaching down for Billy's bag in a thoughtless reaction. Billy's hand on his wrist stops him. Billy's smiling, softly, and it makes Dom want to smile back but he just... can't. 

"My turn. To travel halfway around the world. Because some things just don't fit in an email or over a phone line." 

"That's corny." Dom smirks, and Billy's fingers press against his skin. 

"I try." Billy tilts his head, and. And leans forward, fingers moving from Dom's wrist to his neck, settling against his pulse. His mouth pushes against Dom's, too much pressure to be merely called a brush but not enough movement to be a true kiss. He backs away just as quickly, rubbing his fingertip in an absent minded circle. "Hello, there, Dominic."

"You broke up with Ali?" Is all that Dom can say. 

Billy's smile fades, but he retains that unphased, unaffected expression. Dom wonders how it can be that Billy doesn't seem the slightest bit out of sorts with the situation or with Dom himself. But he remembers the anxiety in Billy's voice over the phone, on the message, and takes comfort in that, if nothing else. "Yes, Dom, I did." 

"Can I ask why?" And Dom knows that this is silly, going to such lengths to sidestep the issue, to pretend like he really has no clue, but he doesn't trust himself to go about it any other way. 

"Dom." Yes, the smile is completely gone now, replaced by a look of tired expasperation. "You know exactly why. Is this the way it's going to be? Have you changed your mind, Dom? Becuase if you have, I'd like to know now, please." And he says it with such politeness that Dom knows he is growing angry under the surface. 

"No." He says in response. "I haven't. It's just... I didn't expect... this." 

Billy tilts his head and nods, like he's considering Dom's response slowly and deciding that perhaps Dom deserves a bit of a break. Then he yawns and something between them snaps and floats down to the ground and Billy is smiling and Dom is smiling back and Billy says, "I think I need a bit of a nap, eh? And a shower."

"And a feeding?" Dom says, knowing that Billy doesn't eat airline food and surely must be hungry. 

"Yeah, yeah, and that."

"How 'bout you get yourself cleaned up and I'll make a bite to eat? Then you can have your rest." Dom is lifting Billy's bag over his shoulder and heading for the guest room, smiling harder now, because he can't stop rolling Billy's words around in his mind.

He drops Billy's bag on the bed and turns around, Billy right behind him. He means to meet Billy's eyes but his gaze slips lower, to Billy's lips and Billy sees this and said lips curve into an irresistable little smirk and Dom leans forward and kisses Billy, really this time, not for the first time, certainly, but this is the first time that it has ever meant something and that makes the soft push of mouth on mouth and the dip and slip and faint smack when he pulls away all the more spine-tingling. 

Billy's tongue darts out to lick at Dom's taste before Dom is even a foot away. 

 

Elijah stops in while Billy is in the shower and Dom realizes that he had forgotten plans made weeks ago to hear a new band that Elijah "totally digs" play in some public park somewhere. He almost doesn't answer the door, except his car is parked in front and Elijah has a key anyway and certainly wouldn't hesitate to walk right in. So he answers the door and before he says a word Elijah knows that something is up, because Elijah just knows things like that, and this is the first time Dom can recalling wishing that Elijah didn't, and couldn't, read him quite so well. 

"What's up?" Elijah says, lighting a cigarette with a lighter that Dom thinks probably costs as much as his watch and he feels a flash of annoyance that has nothing at all to do with Elijah himself and everything to do with the way Billy has invaded and monopolized his thoughts and the way Dom doesn't mind at all and would be much obliged if the world would kindly just fuck off for a bit so he can explore and enjoy this newfound thing in his life. 

Dom says, "Nothing," but it's a moment or two too late and Elijah's eyes have narrowed and Dom opens his mouth to speak again knowing that it's just going to be a train wreck and there's no reason at all to not just tell Elijah except, how do you say things like that in a moment like this, and- "Um, don't think I'll be able to make the band thing, Doodle, I just got back, you know, but maybe we can catch them some other time, maybe-"

And then crash, the train just got derailed by a wee little shirtless Scotsman stepping around the corner. 

"Dom? You moved the bloody towels again, didn't-" He says in a snarky little voice that normally would make Dom smile just from the very tone of it, but then he spots Elijah and there's a moment of surprise and then a smile, large and honest and just enough to calm Dom down - well, hey, at least he doesn't have to explain now, Billy's here, Billy will explain.

Dom steps aside and Elijah walks step in and Billy steps forward, into the hallway and there they are, the three of them, standing and Dom is smiling, a nervous smile, he's sure, though he really has nothing to be nervous about. Elijah is smiling too but his is tinged with suspicion and just a bit of defensiveness. "Billy? When did you get in?" 

"Ah, 'bout fifteen minutes ago, I think." Billy laughs, "Decided I needed a visit - Dom convinced me, you could say. I followed him back. Spur o'the moment thing. Was just about to take a shower - but, ah..." 

"Don't let me stop you then." Elijah looks more at ease now, now that he's been assured that he wasn't purposely left out of the loop. 

"Right. Ah, towels, Dom?" 

Dom tells him where they are and Elijah wanders into Dom's den. Dom follows after him after pausing to watch Billy's back as he walked down the hall. 

"So are we hitting the town tonight?" Elijah looks a bit excited now and it tugs at Dom's heart in a comortable, worn-in way. 

"Would you mind if maybe, maybe we waited until tomorrow night? Billy's tired, and..." 

"Dom? Did, uh, something happen with you and Billy?" 

Dom feels his face flush, and he couldn't hide it now if he tried. "Maybe." 

"Ahh." Elijah says, a long, drawn out sound. "Well. In that case. Tomorrow night will be just great. I told Han' I might see a movie with her and a couple of her friends later, anyway. I'll just meet them early. And, uh, I'll see when that band is playing? Cause you really would like them, they're fucking awesome. Hey, maybe Billy can come too, if he's still here?" Elijah says it all while heading towards the door and two seconds after his hand touches the knob, turns, and pulls, he spins around to Dom, flashing a mega-watt smile. "Good luck, mate." Dom grins, at the sentiment and at Elijah's horrible abuse of Dom's native - sort of - language. 

 

When Billy gets out of the shower, decently clothed in a plain black t-shirt and boxers, he wants to know where Elijah's gone off too. Dom tells him that he politely told the brat the feck off and Billy laughs and runs his fingers through his damp hair as Dom pours him tea and transfers a decent portion of bacon and eggs to the plate that he will soon set in front of Billy. 

"Just us tonight, eh?" Billy says, blowing across the top of his steaming cup, corners of his mouth tilting upwards in a small not-quite-smile.. 

"Yep. Just us." Dom smiles back, shovelling eggs onto his fork. "That okay?"

More than a few seconds have passed by when Billy responds, and his voice is soft and low, "Perfect." 

Dom glances up from his breakfast-turned-dinner and smiles, surprised to find Billy already looking at him. They share a gaze for a few moments and then the spell is broken and for a while the only sounds that fill the room are the sharp clinking of metal on glass and the sip-slurp of tea as it passed from cup to mouth. 

The silence is broken by a yawn that Billy doesn't even try to hide. His eyes are rimmed with red, tired and bleary. Dom stands and takes their plates, leaving them on the counter to be washed another time. 

"Go to bed." Dom says and Billy stands. There are things to discuss, but discussions can wait. Things are settled enough for the moment. 

"Aye. But." Billy smiles and Dom truly believes that it's a sight he'll never get tired of seeing. "Only if you come with me."


End file.
